None of that, Nintendo.

Alright Nintendo, that's enough whoring out your little money maker. Seriously, I am tired of seeing these constant upgrades of your handhelds so very frequently. And don't get me mistaken: this hasn't just started with the DS. Oh no, you'd like to pretend, wouldn't you Nintendo? No, no, this has been going on since...well, the GameBoy Advance.

You see, the GameBoy Advance was a great little upgrade to what was the original GameBoy (which in itself had a few remakes). It brought in more possibilities in terms of what could be played, including upgrades to graphics and music. Everything was looking great. Still, Nintendo figured they would add a new little upgrade anyway. This upgrade became the GBA SP. Now, the SP isn't really anything special, in my book. The better design and the backlight were necessary from the beginning; adding them in later and then pricing $150 for it? Aha.

But it didn't start there. Now I don't know if many of you know, but Nintendo also developed GBA SP+. What did it do? Um...I'm not sure. I'm really not. I think it had a brighter backlight? Around that same time, Nintendo released another handheld that was meant to co-exist with their prized GameBoy Advance: the Nintendo DS. However, it soon became apparent that the DS was far too popular to be ignored, as it became Nintendo's lead handheld.

Still, the GameBoy Advance couldn't give up without a fight. In another attempt to gain appeal, Nintendo, for a second time, remade the design of the GameBoy Advance and shrunk it down to lesser-than-pocket size. And thus the GameBoy Micro was born. It featured no upgrades to the SP at all; all that kept this little guy afloat was his marketed slimness and intuitive design.

About a year later, the Nintendo DS saw its own remake. In 2006 came the DS Lite, which again, seemed like a rather needed upgrade that should have been the original design from the start. The handheld itself is much sleeker, smaller, and has better lighting settings. Sounds sort of like our little friend, the GameBoy Advance SP: a remake that should have been the original from the very start.

Two years after the release of the DS Lite came the DSi, which actually has some nifty upgrades, to be honest. Two cameras, DSiware, and a brand new interface make for a really interesting twist to the usual DS's hardware. However, the DSi also removed the GBA slot in order to make the machine smaller. It felt like a step backwards, for whatever reason. Plus, it seemed incredibly unnecessary to price the product so high for changes that were still, whether you'd like to admit it or not, minor.

And it only gets worse. Not even two years after the release of the DSi comes the DSi XL, which sacrifices easy carriage for large screen size. Woah, woah, woah, wait a minute there Nintendo. Wait a second. Just five years ago you were bragging about how small and easy to carry the Game Boy Micro was and now you're bragging about your "93% larger" screen on the DSi XL? What happened? Why didn't you just make the DSi XL the original DSi from the start? Why are you charging so much money for the same product, only a bit bigger? Come on Nintendo, I know it prints money, but this is a little ridiculous now.

If I see a 3DS BONUS + MEGA i BEST edition in 2013, I'm going to be pissed.

-Taylor